Letting go
by Dustland-Fairytales
Summary: I knew I was dying. I had known for a while now. So why in the world did fate have to show me happiness when I'd already accepted death? GaaraXOC. Rated T for character death.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

Well, this one was originally considered to be a One-Short for my drabble collection "The Lost Ones", but then it got quite...big, bigger than I had expected, so I figured it deserved to be a story of its own. This will be a 4-shot, basically ;) Enjoy.

**Title: Letting go**

**Summary: I knew I was dying. I had known for a while. Just why did fate have to show me happiness when I'd already accepted death?**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto.**

* * *

Mother Nature is a bitch. Honestly. Why else would fate show me happiness when I'd already accepted death?

I can't change anything anymore, though. Now that it is almost ended, I might as well tell my story.

* * *

It was a beautiful night, the night I saw the person who turned my life upside down the first time. Well, of course I'd seen him before, but like everyone else in this village, I'd always kept my distance. No one wanted to get too close to Sabaku no Gaara, the Jinchuuriki host, even though they said he'd changed a lot after attending the Chunin exams in Konohagakure almost two years ago.

The night I really got to know Sabaku no Gaara the stars were shining brightly from unclouded sky, while the moon bathed the world in a silvery light. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. Sitting here upon the village's wall of Suna made me feel strangely at peace.

I knew I was dying. I had known for a while now. Some strange virus was attacking my body from the inside, gradually causing my organs to falter and slowly turning my lungs into a bloody pulp. There was no cure, and although the medicine I'd been taking for the past months slowed down the process, I only had little time left. A month, maybe. Maybe more, maybe less. _"It all depends on how much you fight"_, the doctors had told me, and I'd been unable to restrain myself from rolling my eyes. _Fight, uh? What for?_

I had come to terms with my fate. Not that I was particularly keen on dying, but it wasn't as if I had much to live for, either. For a split moment, I considered just letting myself fall from the city walls. It would be quicker that way, and much less painful. Still, I couldn't get myself to do it. I stayed where I was and tried to enjoy the light, chilling breeze that was caressing my face. It was almost incredible how huge the contrast between day and night was in the deserts. I for my part had always loved the hot days more than the freezing cold nights, but ever since I had learned that I was dying, I found myself strangely drawn to the darkness. Maybe it was because it fit my depressed mood better than the bright sunshine.

Suddenly, I heard an almost emotionless, cold voice behind me that send shivers down my spine.

"You are sitting in my place."

* * *

Gaara regarded the girl before him with disdain. Why was she here? No one ever came up here; it was _his_ place, where he came every night when the demon within him prevented his sleep.

"You are sitting in my place", he said irritably, convinced that she would run away as soon as she saw who claimed this spot. Like he had expected, she froze immediately – but much to his surprise, remained seated and didn't even bother to turn around to face him.

"I didn't realize the city walls belonged to anyone. At least I don't see a 'belongs - to – whoever' – sign anywhere", she responded, defiance clear in her voice.

Gaara folded his arms in front of his chest, growing more annoyed by the second. "I could kill you", he threatened quietly. It was a sentence he hadn't uttered in months, not since he had met Naruto, but she wouldn't know it was an empty threat, and hopefully would run off.

The girl sighed heavily and let her shoulders drop slightly. "What are you waiting for?", she asked. "Go in ahead, if it makes you feel happy – which I highly doubt. Alive, maybe, but not happy."

Gaara stared at her, dumfounded. No one had ever reacted so calmly to him or had dared to oppose him like that. Especially the last sentence she had said struck him. Not only did she obviously know why he had killed so many in the past, but she also seemed to know what had been going on inside of him. She'd unerringly hit his weak spot. It was exactly how he had always felt; killing hadn't brought him happiness. So instead of crushing her with his sand, he just kept on staring at her back.

After a few moments of complete silence, she finally turned around to look at him.

"Why don't you sit beside me?", she offered. "I'd say this wall is big enough for the two of us, don't you think?" A tiny smile played around the corners of her lips.

Wait- had she just _smiled_ at him??? And had she really asked him to sit next to her? He wondered whether his hearing was failing him or whether she just had an acute death wish.

The girl frowned upon his hesitation. "Of course you can stay there and cool your heels if my company isn't good enough for you", she stated dryly.

Gaara threw her a suspicious look. "Do you know who I am?"

She scoffed in response. "Of course I do. There isn't a single person in Suna who doesn't know Sabaku no Gaara. And now sit down already, will you? I don't bite."

Slowly, he approached the girl and finally sat down a few feet away from her, carefully keeping his distance. She flashed him another quick but genuine smile and lifted her face to watch the stars again.

Gaara eyed her curiously. He was pretty sure he'd never seen her before, so she was probably no Kunoichi. He could have told that from her figure as well. Unlike the Kunoichi of this village, she wasn't muscular at all; in fact, she was quite the opposite. She was extremely thin, so thin that a strong gust of wind might just blow her off the wall. Her light brown hair was short and hung languidly around her pale, delicate face. Her smile was kind and genuine, but somehow it just never seemed to really reach her eyes. She had dark circles under her likewise brown eyes, witnesses of restless nights.

Had he been searching for one word to describe her, he would have chosen _fragile_. She wasn't exactly pretty, but she definitely wasn't ugly either. All in all she was one of those girls who would blend in and disappear within a crowd of people without anyone noticing her. But there was something about her he couldn't quite grasp that intrigued him. Maybe it was just her unusual manners; she obviously wasn't afraid of him, but rather insubordinate, and when he looked at her, he found that despite his presence she almost seemed to be at ease.

_Just who was this girl?_

* * *

"The stars are beautiful tonight, aren't they?" The words had left my mouth before I could hold them back. Immediately I bit my tongue. I couldn't believe I was actually trying to engage Gaara in a conversation. I might just have been pushing my luck a bit too far with that.

Surprisingly, he neither killed nor ignored me, but actually gave me an answer, even if it was only a short one. "Yes."

Somehow thrilled by the success, I babbled on. Usually I liked the silence more than conversations, but adrenalin shooting into my system the second he turned up apparently made me go slightly mental. "I've seen you here quite often", I continued. "Almost every night, to be precise. Why is that?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "I have to do _something_ during the night. Watching the stars is better than doing nothing."

"How about sleeping?"

"I don't sleep. Ever."

"Oh." That threw me off for a minute. "Sorry, I forgot", I mumbled weakly when I had regained my composure. At least he didn't seem to be angry – although this was hard to tell, considering that his facial expression never changed even once.

"It's fine", he said. "You couldn't have known that I mustn't sleep because of Shukaku."

Somehow I got the feeling he only emphasized this fact because he wanted to warn me not to come too close to him. Too bad for him that I didn't really have anything left to fear in my short life.

"Is that really all you see in yourself?", I inquired. I knew that wasn't my place to ask, for it was far too personal. Still, since he seemed to be in a good mood, I decided to take the risk. "Do you always only think about yourself as the Jinchuuriki?"

"It is what I am", he stated simply.

"It is what is inside of you", I corrected. "It's not what you have to be. You can either bear the burden – or you let the burden rule your life. At least that's what my grandmother used to say."

He was obviously too surprised to answer, so I fell silent again. We stayed like this for hours, just sitting next to each other, watching the sky, not talking at all. And I wouldn't have thought his presence would feel so comforting.

It was almost midnight when I shakily got up and stretched my stiff legs. "I gotta get going", I announced. It wasn't as though anyone would miss me or would be worried if I didn't come home, but I was growing tired and really didn't feel like sleeping on the cold stone.

Gaara's facial expression didn't change at all; I wasn't even sure whether he had heard me, but I figured in that case I might as well just walk away. To be true, I had to admit I was probably lucky that I had gotten out of here alive and that he didn't consider me worthy of his attention. I'd already taken a few steps when he suddenly spoke up.

"I think it would be very rude of you", he stated, "if you went away without even telling me your name."

I couldn't oppress the smile that slowly crept onto my face.

"It's Kasumi."

And without consciously deciding it I knew that tomorrow night I would be sitting at exactly the same spot again.

* * *

**A/N.: **Reviews, anyone?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Here I am again ^^. Since I already finished the story, the updates will come very frequently.

A huge thank you to_** kataraUchiha653719, forever-sweet **_and _**hellolo**_ for their reviews, and also to everyone who has read the first chapter and added the story to their fav's or alerts!!!

Enjoy the second chap ;)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

The next morning, when a loud, shrill noise disrupted my sleep, I realized with a groan that sitting outside half of the night hadn't been the smartest thing to do. Impatiently and terribly annoyed, I threw the alarm clock against the wall. Half broken, it originated another feeble sound and then fell silent.

With a relieved sigh, I heaved myself out of bed, which required a lot of effort on my part. I always had problems getting up in the morning, as my body was still extremely stiff and every cell seemed to scream _"Why don't you let us rest, you moron? There's nothing you need to do anyway!"_

That day, I would've totally agreed with them – staying in bed was always a better option that going to the hospital for yet another checkup. Especially if you knew that they were going to run so many tests that after a while you would feel like a voodoo-doll due to the sheer quantity of needles sticking out of your skin. I knew though, that if I didn't show up on time, the doctors would come here and personally drag me to the hospital. Not because they actually cared about me, but I made a great guinea pig. So to save me from the humiliation, I threw in some painkillers, gulped down the medicine I was forced to take by the gallon and made my way to the place that, for me, was hell on earth, all the while hoping that at the end of the day, I would still be able to climb the city wall.

* * *

Kasumi was already there when he arrived atop the city wall at last. He hadn't expected her to come again. A part of him had even hoped she wouldn't, but that part was tiny compared to the one that was actually almost happy to see her. Watching her, Gaara tilted his head. She really was a strange girl – he couldn't help but think that her name fit her perfectly. To him, she was as inscrutable as the mist she was named after.

Just like the previous night, he sat down beside her, and she welcomed him with her partial smile.

"Hello, Gaara." No "how are you? How was your day?" or some other insane babbling. He was grateful for that. He simply nodded in response. "Kasumi."

A long silence ensued, which she finally broke.

"Have you ever been close to dying?", she asked.

Gaara looked at her, startled. "No, not really. The sand is protecting me", he added. He narrowed his eyes at her. "Why do you ask?"

Kasumi shrugged. "I would have liked to know…what it is like. To die, I mean."

"Why would you want to know something like that?"

She didn't respond, but only shrugged again.

"I guess it's different for every one of us", Gaara mused.

"Probably", she answered vaguely.

"You aren't afraid of dying." It was a statement, not a question.

"Not really", she admitted. "But sometimes…", she trailed off, obviously not wanting to say any more. "How about you?"

Now it was his turn to shrug. "Death is always a part of a Shinobi life. You get used to it, but it's healthy to hold a certain amount of fear – it makes you keep out of trouble, sometimes."

"That's not really an answer to my question", Kasumi argued.

Gaara hesitated for a second. "I think", he began slowly, "that there are worse things than death."

Kasumi observed him thoughtfully. "Like being alone your entire life?"

"For instance."

"Yeah", she said quietly, before leaning back and laying down on the wall. "Yeah, that's probably right."

* * *

It became a routine. Before the sun would set, I would climb up the wall and wait for him. He'd come an hour or so later and sit down next to me. At some point, one of us would break the silence and start a conversation that would sometimes go on for a few hours, until I finally got up and went home again around midnight. It was astonishing how easy talking to him had become. There were only two topics we carefully avoided: his profession – I didn't really want to hear all the stories of murders and fights and blood – and my medical condition. I hadn't even told him of the little time I had left to live. I was just enjoying being with him, and I didn't feel like spoiling the atmosphere.

Strangely enough, we found that we could understand each other easier than both of us had anticipated. He told me some parts of his past; and I told him about my mother, who had died in childbirth, and about my father, who had disappeared way before I was born. I told him about my stepfather, who blamed me for her death, and ignored me as much as possible. No one had ever really cared about me, just as no one had cared about him, and it showed us that we could share a bunch of experiences. We had something in common, a conjoint foundation that be built our connection on.

The night became the only time of the day, the only part of my life, I was still looking forward to. I hadn't been looking forward to anything in ages. It was strange how I now got edgy every time I feared that I could get delayed and would not make it to our meeting point in time.

* * *

Two weeks had passed when he told me he was sent on a mission which would take at least four days, more likely a week. I tried to stay calm, but I was panicking inwardly. A week. A whole week meant seven days.

I might not be here anymore in seven days. I hadn't wanted to admit it to myself that my body was working against me more and more. The pain had grown worse and getting up had become increasingly difficult, as well as walking for a long time. When I set out for the city walls now, I had to rest several times before moving on. My cheeks were haggard and hollow now, while my skin was taking on a slightly grey shade.

I often wondered why he didn't notice at all. Then again, I might not look that horrible in the feeble moonlight.

"Will you be there when I return?" Gaara asked hesitantly, and I could almost hear my heart breaking into pieces. Would he be disappointed in case I didn't show up again? Would he even learn of my death? After all, he didn't even know my family name, and even though Sunagakure was a relatively small village, it was big enough for someone to go into hiding within the crowds.

Would he even care at all?

I found that I didn't really want to know the answer. Somehow, I was more afraid of it than I was of death, and that kind of scared me even more. I was scared he wouldn't miss me. I was scared because I began to realize I would miss him terribly.

And I was scared because I perceived that, suddenly, I wanted to live more than anything else.

Of course I couldn't tell him. So I faked a smile and promised I would be waiting for him, just like every other day.

As I watched him leave that night, I knew there was a goal I had to accomplish:

Live through this week, no matter what it takes.

* * *

It was incredible, but my determination almost got me through the week.

Almost.

The day before he was due to return, I was burning up.

Thanks to the fever, I had to stay in bed all day. Unfortunately, it didn't get any better during the night, but my condition changed for the worse. I couldn't keep any food down, and when stumbling towards the bathroom, I faceplanted and hit my head so hard I was unconscious for hours. This even made my stepfather panic, who raced to the hospital to fetch the medics. Maybe he cared for me more than he showed. That usually would have made me feel happy, but I was only pissed that the medics refused to let me go, but instead told me to stay in the hospital for at least another three days.

And that meant I wouldn't be there when Gaara returned.

* * *

Gaara had been itching to see Kasumi again. It was strange how one could grow so attached to a person in such a short time. All the time during the mission, she had been on his mind, so much that even his siblings had noticed that there was something odd about him. They had been teasing him for being lost in thought all the time, but had stopped immediately when he had glared at them. Unlike Kasumi, they were still afraid of him sometimes.

He had been missing her. Her soft voice, her smile, even the ridiculous arguments they engaged in frequently:

"_What's your favourite colour?" She had asked one night, lying on her belly and looking up to get a better look on his face._

"_Are you seriously asking me this question?"_

"_Of course I am."_

"_That's probably the most idiotic question I've ever heard."_

_Kasumi had just rolled her eyes. "Just give me an answer, will you?"_

_He had thought for a moment, before answering "Brown."_

"_Brown?"_

"_What's wrong with brown? Everything I like is brown. The houses of Suna. The Sand..." 'Your hair and your eyes', he added silently._

_She had scoffed. "Sand isn't brown. Sand is....sandy."_

"_Which is a shade of brown."_

_Kasumi had rolled her eyes. "Only a man could say that brown and sandy are the same."_

Kami, he really missed those arguments. She almost made him smile. And now, when she smiled, the light that had been absent in her eyes when he first met her, began to return.

As soon as they had handed in their mission report, he rushed towards their usual spot, only to find she wasn't there.

He waited. And waited. And waited.

The sun rose, and she still hadn't come.

* * *

_**A/N.:**_ So....what d'ya think?


	3. Chapter 3

**Here I am again....I know this update comes really fast, but like I said before, the story is already finished, so....yeah. A HUGE thank you to _ILuVu, forever-sweet, Rin-GaaraFan, Harya_ and _naruto fan_ for their awesome reviews, and also thanks for all the alerts/favs, you made my day!!!**

**So, enjoy the third chappie ;)**

**Disclaimer: I know it's hard to believe, but I still don't own Naruto.**

* * *

In the end, it had been five days. Five days of hell.

I was still locked in the hospital room because I had tried to sneak out during the night. I had begged and pleaded but they still wouldn't let me go, which was really stupid. Everyone knew there was no hope left. I wouldn't last much longer, and keeping me here wouldn't make anything better.

They only thing that lightened my days a tiny bit was that there was a young nurse named Hana looking after me now. We got along well – at least, as well as nurses and patient can get along – and she neither hovered too much nor seemed to not give a damn. She was one of those persons who made you want to spill your guts to.

Every time the medics came to check on me, I could see it on their faces. The fever had vanished, but my body was succumbing, and there was nothing to be done.

"How long?", I quietly asked Hana.

She actually looked sad. "If your results don't get better...a few days at the most."

It didn't surprise me. I was so weak I could hardly sit up. That was why I frequently requested to be released. If I died, I didn't want to do so in a hospital, but at home, in my room, where I felt safe and comfortable. But I knew they wouldn't let me, because the thought of the mess and smell I could cause when dying scared the hell out of my stepfather. He wasn't ready to look after me and stay by my side those last few days, we both knew that. I didn't blame him. I wouldn't have had the strength, either. At least he managed to visit me every day.

But he wasn't the person I wanted to see. The person I needed.

The problem was, this person most likely hated me right now, and was thinking that I had forgotten and betrayed him. And I had, in a way. I had broken my promise. Of course I had a good excuse, but it didn't count right now. I never should have given that promise in the first place, I guess.

My stepfather stepped in the room right then, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He was bringing new ones every day, to smother his guilty conscience. Plus, it made up for him always leaving after a few minutes.

"How are you feeling?"

"I've been better", I admitted. "I've been worse."

He shifted uncomfortably. He'd probably heard what Hana had been telling me earlier. "Is there anything I can get you?"

Everything about him was screaming _"Please say no, please let me get out of here!"_

For a second, I pitied him. But then I jumped at the only chance I had left.

"I want to see Gaara", I mumbled.

His eyes widened in shock, and I could feel Hana's astonished look on me. "Ga-Gaara?", he spluttered. "As in Sabaku no Gaara?"

"I wasn't aware there was another person named Gaara in this village", I said, doing the best not to roll my eyes.

"But...but-"

"Please." I hated having to ask for help, but there was no other way. "I_ need_ to see him. There's something I have to tell him before..." I didn't finish the sentence. There was no need to. Both of them knew what I was going to say. _"...before I die"_

But when I looked on my stepfather, I realized he didn't have it in him. He was too afraid of the Jinchuuriki to approach him. Not even if it was my last wish.

Unexpectedly, Hana spoke up. "I'll look for him."

It was the first time I realized how much she actually cared. The first time I realized that in those past five days, I might just have gained a friend.

* * *

Someone cleared his throat behind him.

"Sa-Sabaku no Gaara?", a girl addressed him, her voice trembling slightly. It annoyed him to no end. He reminded himself it wasn't _this_ girl's fault that he was even crabbier than usual.

"Yes?"

"I believe you're acquainted with a girl called Kasumi?"

His body immediately went rigid. "I don't see why this would be of your concern", he replied coolly.

"She wants to see you."

"_She wants to see me, huh? Now who was the one who wasn't there? Who was the one who broke her promise?",_ he wanted to scream. Instead of that he just clenched his hands into fists. "If she wants to see me, she can very well tell me so herself", he snapped back, irritated that Kasumi didn't even have the courage to face him herself.

Behind him, he could hear the female taking a deep breath, gathering courage. "No she can't", she contradicted. There was another slight pause, before she added: "She's at the hospital. And...if you still want to see her, you should go there soon, or it might just be too late." With that, she hurried away.

Gaara whirled around and stared at the place she'd been standing for a long time, unable to move as he understood what she had meant.

And all his anger crumbled and turned to dust. It was replaced by a wave of remorse. Pain. And then numbness.

* * *

The door opened with a squeak. Gaara peeked into the room and found a sleeping Kasumi on the bed. He entered as quietly as possible; he didn't want to wake her.

Taking a seat right next to the bed, he looked at her closely and was shocked by her appearance. Kasumi had always been pale, but lying there she looked very much off-colour, more like a corpse than a living creature. She must have been suffering for a long time now.

With shaking hands, he brushed a strand of hair from her face, and Kasumi stirred, and slowly opened her eyes. She blinked a few times in surprise at the unexpected sight. Then the corners of her lips lifted a tiny bit into a small smile, while her eyes filled with tears. It made his heart break.

"Gaara", she whispered, her voice feeble but happy. "You came."

Fearing that his voice would betray him if he said anything, he just nodded.

"I'm dying."

He hated how she always got directly to the point.

"_I know_", he wanted to say, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, he grasped her hand. "I won't let you!"

Kasumi's smile grew sad. "You have to", she said quietly. "Gaara, you have to let me go."

"I can't."

"Of course you can. You _must!_ There is still so much left to live for. What about the village, the people you want to protect so badly? You have so much left to do."

"It won't be the same." Who would be there, listening to him? Who would be there to comfort hi, to make him smile? Who would be accepting him? Who would be the one trying to convince him he was not a monster?

"No, it won't", she agreed. "But I'll always be close to you."

Slowly, she lifted her hand and let her fingers caress his face. Gaara felt his eyes widen slightly at the unfamiliar touch. Her hands were very soft and left his skin tingling.

"I love you."

Kasumi's mumble was barely audible. She was already drifting into sleep again. Therefore she didn't see Gaara sitting on her bed thunderstruck, before he hesitantly bent down and lightly pressed his lips on her warm forehead.

"I won't let you go", he promised. "I won't."

* * *

I was standing in front of the huge mirror, eying myself with a sceptical frown. I really didn't look well, I thought with a sigh. The clothes hung loosely around my skinny body, and even though my face had regained some of its colour, I was still sickly pale.

"You look good", Hana complimented me and laid her hands on my shoulders from behind. She was the one who had organized the clothes for me and had basically enforced my release from the hospital, something I was extremely grateful for.

"I used to have boobs", I complained, even though I knew I had no right to do so. That I was able to stand up and walk again without having to be supported was a little wonder. It shouldn't matter to me that my body, due to the illness, had lost all of its curves. Right now, it was solely set on surviving another couple of days, and it couldn't afford to waste the energy some extra pounds in certain areas would entail.

Hana chuckled. "I don't think Gaara will mind", she stated teasingly.

The very mention of his name made my mood lighten up. Gaara had, with an almost incredible patience, been constantly sitting next to me, never leaving my side once, for the past three days of my recovering.

No one could explain why I was suddenly feeling better. My theory was that the medics had been right when they had told me my life span would depend on my will to live. I didn't want to die just yet. I wanted some more days with Gaara, and hell, I was going to get them! Sure, I was aware of the fact that I would be worse soon. One last defiant struggle before I finally had to give in to the illness. However, I was determined to relish my last days.

Isn't it strange how a person can change completely within a few days?

* * *

**A/N.: Only one chapter left to go....reviews? **


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's the last part....enjoy! Again, a huge THANK YOU to everyone who's been reading this and actually has been sticking around to wait for the last chappie....and an extra thanks to Harya and Rin-GaaraFan, you guys are awesome!!!**

**Well, like I said before, enjoy the last part of this short story....anyway, be warned, there will be no happy ending... :(**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

* * *

A few hours later, I was standing in an unfamiliar room. Gaara's room. We had agreed that, since my stepfather would be more than happy to not have to deal with someone fatally ill, I would move in with him for the last days. Back then, it had seemed like the most reasonable thing to do.

But now that I was here, I didn't seem to be that much of a good idea anymore. Being in his room made me terribly nervous. It made me ask myself whether I wasn't requesting too much from him. Sitting at someone's death bed required a lot of strength, and I wasn't sure he could take it. For someone so strong, he could be incredibly weak.

"Make yourself at home", he said with his calm voice. I threw him a quick smile and curiously looked about. His room was relatively plain, just like I had expected. Terracotta coloured walls and curtain, and dark furniture. The bed surprised me, though, considering that he didn't sleep.

"Are you tired?", he asked, noticing the way I eyed the bed.

"A little", I admitted.

"Then lie down a bit. I'll fix us something to eat."

I wanted to protest; I wasn't hungry at all, but I knew he wouldn't have that. I had to eat at some point, after all. Furthermore, I wasn't in the mood for arguing, so I changed into my nightgown and slipped under the sheets, immediately falling into a deep slumber.

* * *

When I woke up, Gaara was lying next to me, staring at the ceiling. As he felt me shift his gaze instantly fell onto me.

"How are you feeling?"

I thought for a moment. "Good", I answered then, surprised that this was actually the truth. Thank to the painkillers I was swallowing in great quantities, the once overall pain had diminished into a dull throb. And he was there, right next to me. What else could I possibly wish for?

After a moment of hesitation, I dared snuggle up against his chest. I still wasn't sure how he would react to physical contact, seeing as no one ever touched him and he always liked to keep his distance for everyone. Apparently he was okay with it, though, as his arm slid around my shoulders to pull me closer. With a content sigh, I hid my face in the scrape of his neck.

"I could stay like this forever", I murmured against his skin.

His fingers began to comb my hair and then trailed down to caress my cheeks. I looked up at him questioningly. Gaara wasn't the type to start touching anyone, but right now there wasn't the slightest sign of doubt on his face. Slowly, he bent down to press his soft lips on mine.

I gasped in surprise, but complied eagerly has he deepened the kiss. He ran his tongue over my lower lip, asking for entrance, while his hands began roaming my body, emanating heat wherever they went. Warmth was spreading in my entire body, engulfing me completely, and I willingly let myself fall and melt into it.

* * *

Another day passed. Then another one. On the third day it became evident that love couldn't save me. I was growing weak again, so I spent most of the time huddled up against Gaara, trying to move the least possible to avoid the pain every struggle would cause. In better moments he would carry me to the windowsill, where I sat and let the sun shine on my face. He was constantly holding my hand now, as if that could keep me from dying.

* * *

Two days later, I was delirious. I faintly noticed Hana coming by to give me some more medicine and say goodbye. I tried to smile at her, but found that I couldn't move a single muscle.

I'm sure she understood, though.

* * *

My lucid moments became less and less frequent, and they didn't last as long as they had in the beginning. The positive thing was that I didn't feel the pain. I also didn't have the time to panic, for when I was awake and aware of my surrounding, I solely focused on Gaara, who perpetually stayed by my side.

I couldn't go just yet. I hadn't been loved this way long enough. I couldn't leave him when I didn't know he would live on.

But I had no choice in this.

"I love you", I wanted to tell him. "I love you more than anything else in this world." But I couldn't find the words.

* * *

I felt his cool hands on mine, assuring me that he was still there.

He smelled of heat and sand.

* * *

He was whispering something, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. All I could hear was the wind outside the window. Was there another sandstorm? Probably.

* * *

At some point, I think, he realized I wouldn't die until he let me go. Seeing the pain on his face tore me apart.

Gaara bent forward and whispered softly in my ear. "I love you", he murmured. "I will keep looking for you out there. You promised to stay close to me, don't forget that."

When his eyes locked with mine, I finally felt at peace.

* * *

Gaara looked down upon the small gravestone. It had been kept plain, just like Kasumi would have liked it. Only her name could be read there, nothing else. They had buried her close to the city wall, facing towards the sunset, fulfilling her request to be laid to rest at the same place where she had found peace for the first time in her life.

Gaara felt a familiar jolt of pain run through his body. Four months had passed since Kasumi had died, but he still couldn't get used to the fact that she wasn't there anymore. It was as if he couldn't breathe anymore, as if a part of him had died as well.

He heard light footsteps behind him and at once knew it was Temari. His sister had been trying to comfort him for weeks. Gaara knew she felt terribly guilty for not being there for him when he needed her. She had been in Konoha at that time, organizing the Chunin exams, and probably enjoying herself with that Shikamaru guy. Only when she returned had she learned what had occurred during her absence and even though she hadn't known Kasumi at all, she had been constantly watching over him. She was worried about him. In the past two years the siblings had grown closer, and even though he and Temari weren't as close as he and Kankuro, she wanted to help him.

In a way, Gaara was thankful for her presence. She didn't talk as much as Kankuro would have, but then Kankuro wasn't in Suna either and probably hadn't yet received the letter Temari had sent him to ask him to return at once. But on the other hand, he would have very much preferred to be left alone with his sorrow.

"Gaara?", Temari asked hesitantly. "Are you coming?"

"Yes. Only a few more minutes."

Temari nodded and walked away, getting the hint that he wanted a bit more privacy.

Gaara turned to face the grave once again and kneeled down to touch the cold stone. He sighed heavily. "Where are you now, Kasumi? Didn't you promise to stay by my side?"

_"You still have so much left to live for. So much to do"_, Kasumi had told him. _"I don't want you to be sad. I'll always be at your side, wherever you go."_

And as a light breeze sprung up and caressed his face, he knew she was there. A small smile appeared on his face as he got up again.

She had wanted him to move on. Gaara knew he would never forget her, but as long as he thought of her, as long as he treasured those precious moments he had shared with her, he could find the strength to do whatever was asked of him.

He turned around and walked away, over to Temari and the council, who had been waiting for their soon-to-be Kazekage.

* * *

**A/N.: That's it...maybe it got a bit cheesy at the end, but I couldn't help it....wow....I feel weird now, having posted the last thing and it's over....**

**thanks to all the ones who read this!!! Uhm...comments?**

**Ah, and yeah, if you liked that one check out my other stories ;) (one has to do some advertising for their work, right?! xD)**

**Peace out,**

**Dustland-Fairytales**


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